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HELMdisciples.org > About HELM > HELM Leadership Fellows > Kristen Walling
April 30, 2010
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Lessons in leadership

Kristen Walling As a graduating senior whose year is rapidly coming to a close, I've been spending a lot of time reflecting on the last four years and what I plan to do over the next few. Many times I have wondered to myself how different my life would be right now had I chosen a different school to go to. Would I have joined the rugby team? Would I have spent a semester in Ghana? Would I have changed my major? While these questions have come up, I've also had time to think about how all of these experiences have impacted me academically, spiritually, and emotionally, but also how these experiences changed my outlook on leadership. So, after four years, two things especially stand out in my mind that I have learned about leadership:

    Being a good leader means not doing it by yourself.

OK, I'll admit it. In my early college years, I thought being a leader meant being actively involved in a group, being on its executive board, and figuring out how to implement ideas of my own. These might be things that leaders sometimes have to do, but they're not the qualities that define a good leader. Effective leaders have the ability to figure out how to work with others, empower them, and equip them to accomplish a common goal. For the past three years I have been one of the social justice co-coordinators for my campus ministry. During the first two years my co-coordinator and I tried to plan several events a month completely on our own. This year, however, we decided to form a social justice committee — despite the humor in a church group forming a committee to get things done — to help us plan everything, and it's worked! Delegating tasks, sharing ideas, and training younger members in the community have made it much easier for us to put together really great programs. Not only has my stress level from that position been greatly reduced, I am also much prouder of the work that has come out of the committee's collaborative efforts.

    Being a good leader means knowing your limits, and that saying no does not constitute failure.

Leaders often have a hard time letting go of something. This is especially true for college students, whose daily life is generally centered around deadlines and projects and meeting the expectations of professors. It's hard to step back and realize that something isn't working or that something isn't absolutely necessary, and that maybe it needs to be cut. I'm not saying it's necessarily good to quit something entirely, but I have come to understand that a good leader recognizes he or she has reached his or her limit. I have had a few semesters where I have taken on far too many responsibilities, between classes, clubs and activities, work, internships, and personal down time. Not wanting to disappoint people, I have agreed to do things I really did not have time to do. Instead of being honest up front with one person, I've ended up letting a lot more people down or done work that was less than my best on several things. I do think a leader needs to be fully invested in what he or she is doing . . . but that does not mean having to agree to absolutely everything that is asked of you. It's a difficult line to walk, between helping others and taking care of yourself, but a good leader knows when he or she has reached the point of not being able to do more.

Growing as a leader is a continual process. These past four years have shaped my values and beliefs in ways I never could have anticipated. I think my willingness to make mistakes and try different things has made it possible to learn from my experiences. I only hope that going forward, I will continue to embrace every experience that comes along as an opportunity to continue my development as a leader.

Kristen's previous stories:
Kristen Walling is in her fourth year as a HELM Leadership Fellow and is a member of Disciples Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in Cleveland Heights, Ohio.


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