Moving on

I remember when my parents first told me we were leaving Taiwan, our home of nearly 7 years, and moving back to the United States. Even as a 12-year-old I knew I was concerned about the developing change. While it didn't help that we were moving to Oklahoma, a state we had few connections in, I was mostly just overwhelmed by the countdown to saying goodbye to an island of people that had been so formative in my childhood.

I suppose no one claims to handle those dreaded goodbyes well. For many it seems that the last hug and final smile bring out a momentary emotional release of tears and sadness that passes away along with the fast snapshot of time. I wish I could be a member of that camp, instead of the one in which I always seem to find myself. Rather than express my feelings in the instance of the actual goodbye, I have become an expert in the field of dread. The months preceding the goodbye plague me with sadness and anxiety, two less than attractive qualities when manifested over a lengthy period of time.

As a second semester senior at TCU, my march toward graduation is well under way. For the most part I spend my days business as usual, but then there are those reminders that the change about to take place is rapidly approaching: celebrations of job offers to friends, final academic papers and graduation gown order forms, just to name a few. As much as I want to enjoy these final months and big moments in a place that I have loved so deeply over the past four years, the realization that this home is going to be another addition to the memory books never ceases to wipe out the natural joy.

As much as I hate to admit this, I am just a classic worrier. I struggle mustering up the faith to remain confident that change will not result in the end of all the good I know in present circumstances. After one of my many "omygoodnessthisisallcomingtoanend" sessions, my best friend asked me to look up 1 Corinthians 10:13. What I found could not have been more appropriate, "No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it."

During the weeks to come, this verse will serve as my daily reminder of faith. God will remain present and committed, and God's love and mercy will be extended to every avenue that arises. That certainly was true in the move from Taiwan, and it will be true once again as I pack up my house in Fort Worth. So as the countdown keeps on ticking, with this verse and promise in mind, I'm going to focus on letting go of the burden of dread and embrace these last months as a celebration of all the blessings this place has brought me.