The gift of mentoring

As a proud freshman at Spelman College, one of the traditions that I admire and respect the most is the required participation in community service efforts each semester. In addition to my educational commitments, I realize the importance of service in the community and giving back that which I have been so richly given. One of the choices that sparked my interest was a non-profit organization called ForeverFamily. This community service agency focuses on some of the most marginalized children in our society — those with one or both parents incarcerated. Their mission is to ensure that no matter what the circumstance, all children have the opportunity to be surrounded by the love of a family and to support them as they, their parents, caregivers and extended families work to remain a family.

The mission statement inspired the desire to do a site visit to observe the program's process. I was deeply touched by the participants and staff, which confirmed my decision to become a student mentor for the center. Ideas of programming and extracurricular activities immediately came to mind. I must attribute this choice as another way that God has led me exactly where I should be at the right appointed time. Study after study shows that children with an imprisoned parent face severe developmental challenges that, if not addressed, can lead to lifelong issues, ranging from difficulty in forming healthy relationships to an increased likelihood of being incarcerated themselves.

Relationship is a key factor in making a difference in the life of any individual, and one of the specific goals that I want to achieve before this school year is completed is to develop that bond with at least one child. Whether it is simply lending an ear to any issues they struggle with or aiding in schoolwork to encourage academic excellence, I am willing. This assignment will also enable me to gain a better understanding of children as I continue to explore the area of psychology as my major.

I will strive to make their lives easier regardless of the simplicity or complicity I have to endure during the process. Speaking of which: Since first-year students cannot have a car on campus, transportation is inconsistent. There is a three-mile walk from our campus to ForeverFamily. Although the walk can be challenging, it was worth it because the participants anxiously awaited our arrival. As a college student mentor I assisted with homework, class projects and speech preparation. It is pretty cool being there to support them; it was almost like having little brothers and sisters away from home. The satisfaction I receive from seeing a frown of frustration turn into a smile of achievement is absolutely priceless.

There are many happy mentor moments, but there has also been very challenging moments. For example, one child that I was mentoring struggled with memorization. We went over a speech at least twenty times, and I was so sure he would do well the practice test the next day at school. But to my shock and his disappointment he made a C on the speech. Unfortunately, the grade on the test did not reflect how much work we put into preparing for it. This not only affected the child but it affected me as well. It seemed like our hard work was in vain. It was imperative for me to develop a process that would work for him. We started memorizing in syllables like a song and practiced with more frequent sentence breaks and that revealed the missing element. On the final test he received the superior grade of "A". Our goal was accomplished, and simultaneously I learned to never give up and work hard regardless of a failure, especially if someone else is depending on you. Determination and faith will help you reach your mark.

My church's mission is to R.I.S.E.: reach, ignite, serve and empower. As a mentor, I have been able to practice the Faith by guiding children in the area of self-esteem, discipline and teaching them to develop healthy work ethic. Although I may not have changed every life I touched, it feels like I took a small step in changing the world, remember "Change starts with you!" The Word says it is more blessed to give than to receive only God can make both actions seem equally rewarding!