The purpose of prayer

According to Merriam-Webster, the verb "pray" means to address God or a god with adoration, confession, supplication, or thanksgiving. Growing up in a Disciples church, we prayed often, but I never really felt that the words meant anything. I was rewarded when I memorized The Lord's Prayer, which kind of made it feel like a school assignment.

My feelings toward prayer did not become any better as I got older. I got really nervous when asked to pray in front of family or audiences because I was afraid that if I messed up, someone would laugh or God wouldn't take me seriously.

Later in life, my family was hit with the challenge of my mother's illness. She suffers from nerve damage in her feet and is therefore unable to do many things, including working as a lawyer as she has done for years. I went to church frequently and always mentioned my mother's name in concerns. I asked people to pray for her, and I prayed often myself. Yet nothing got better. I became frustrated with God, my prayers going seemingly unanswered.

One day this all changed. It was this summer, while I was working at Bethany Hills Camp outside Nashville, Tenn. Someone said during one of the many prayers that happened there: "Lord, grant us not a solution to our problems. Instead, grant us the strength to overcome these problems." Something clicked inside me. I realized that all my life I have been praying for God to fix my problems, when I should have just been asking for help, something I hate doing.

As a busy college student involved in many extra-curriculars and handling a heavy course load along with a part-time job, I am regularly struck with anxiety and nerves. Whether it's thinking about my unplanned future, three essays due on the same day, or a family crisis, I feel stressed very often. One day I pulled out my Bible for some much-needed relaxation and focus. I started with Philippians, one of my favorite books, and came across this verse:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6)

It really spoke to me and became one of my favorite verses. I wrote it on a piece of paper and stuck it in the visor of my car to remind me not to be anxious and give everything to God. It has definitely made a difference.

It has taken me a while to realize that prayer is not supposed to be a droning routine or a showy performance. It is a very personal and transformational opportunity to speak with our Creator. After my experience at Bethany Hills and the inclusion of the Philippians verse in daily life, I have been actively trying to pray more meaningfully to God, both in public and in private. As is the case with many other activities, practice makes perfect. After turning 20 in December, I am excited to start this semester at school and new chapter in my life with a fresh attitude on prayer.