Once again, it's ministry

My call to ministry (yes, you read correctly) begins like this:

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A minister."

"Why?"

"Because there's nothing better to do."

"Well, you need a better reason than that if you're going to be a minister."

Actual conversation I had with my mother. I was nine. We were in the kitchen. I don't know if she remembers or not, but those words stuck with me. "You need a better reason than that…"But what nine year old is going to find those 'better reasons'? Or even begin to think about it? It's much easier to forget about that career all together and focus on new career paths. So that's what I did. (If you can't tell, I'm big on planning). I went through the typical ridiculous notions of ballerina, figure skater, actress, and rocket scientist. I still couldn't think of any better reason to be a minister, but I started thinking of a whole bunch of reasons not to.

What was once the only reason I could think of (family tradition) soon became the biggest reason for me to not pursue the ministry. Both sides of my family have long lines of religious traditions. My father is a fifth generation minister and while my mother is only a second generation Protestant, several ancestors were Catholic priests and nuns on her side. My heritage started working against me. I didn't want to do it because so many people expected me to do it. Soon my attitude became "anything but ministry."

I had always known that I wanted to help people in some way, so I started looking at careers that would allow me to do that. But I wanted a career that would give me enough income to live a comfortable life (read: I could buy my dream BMW and live in a nice house), have flexible and mostly regular hours, and that wouldn't burn me out. I had always enjoyed listening to my friends' problems and either help them fix it or just be there to listen. So I decided that being a doctor, specifically a psychiatrist, would be the most tailored to my particular strengths and qualities of life that I was looking for.

But my decision to be a rich doctor was not totally out of selfish reasons. I had decided this when I was sixteen driving with my dad in Samoa, just after finishing up living in a rural village for the summer. I went to a school where there weren't enough desks or books for all of the students and where students represented their school in track meets barefoot because shoes, especially track spikes, were a luxury that most people couldn't afford. Becoming a doctor would allow me to help in two ways: I'd be able to help patients in the States while sending over money to help the school.

So based on my experience in Samoa, I chose to attend Occidental College because of its strong science program and the high number of students who get into medical school (and because it's warm and much closer to Samoa).Then I got to Oxy and realized in my freshman year that:

1. Chemistry was (and still is) just not for me

2. My faith was more important to me than I had anticipated.

3. If every time I said I was pre-med I scowled and every time I said I was going to seminary I couldn't help but smile, I seriously needed a new life plan.