Overcoming Writer's Block

Right now, I am seemingly sitting behind a desk appearing to be engaged in a simplistic activity of typing, however the opposite is true. Right at this moment a gruesome battle is taking place in my head and the agony of writing is the center of conflict.

I hate writing.

I hate writing.

I hate writing.

It's all I can find to write. I wish there was only a way I could turn 53 complicated math problems in instead of a written article. Since that alternative doesn't seem reasonable, I tried to spark inspiration a few moments ago by reading the articles sent in from the other HELM fellows. Wow, many of them can write and are very talented at doing so. So instead of inspiration I only found discouragement. And because many of these articles from the other HELM fellows were greatm it seems I should be the last on the list to write an article every other week this summer.

Writer's block isn't the source of my difficulty either. I should not be complaining because there are many subjects to write about if I was willing. For instance, I am currently interning this summer at Saint Andrew Christian Church and am in the midst of Vacation Bible School. From this busy, busy week, sparks of learning and reflection have occurred from being around wonderful children and a great community. But yet again, I feel that this fear I have for writing has done VBS an injustice.

Or perhaps, I could write about this past semester and my experience on the Bethany College track team. Before this semester I would have told you about the lack of physical activity in my life. In fact, in high school to get out of the needed P.E. requirement, I was a manager for the wrestling team. But for some strange reason this past semester, I decided to join the track team. The result was a practice in humility and an exercise in perseverance and dedication.

Or most obviously, I could write about how my HELM scholarship has been such an enjoyable experience and a tremendous blessing. What I have been able to take away from this program is far from and has surpassed all of my expectations. I feel grateful and lucky to be involved in something I whole heartedly also believe in.

The truth is, I should not have started this essay off in such a negative tone because my experiences I have had with HELM are outrageously positive. I should instead learn to manage my fear/hatred/anxiety towards writing by reminding myself about the calling story of Moses. When he found himself by a burning bush, God consistently shot down each and every feeling of inadequacy Moses had about himself that might come in the way of his calling. "Oh my Lord, I have never been eloquent, niether in the past nor even now that you have spoken to your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue." (Exodus 4:10b) "You shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth; and I will be with your mouth and with his mouth, and will teach you what you shall do." (Exodus 4:15)

Rebekah Cypert is in her third year as a HELM Leadership Fellow and is a member of First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in McKinney, Texas.