The edge of independence

I am a little over half-way through with my sophomore year of college. I have made incredible friends and grown in ways that I did not know were possible. But I still remember exactly how I felt during the application process: get as far away from home as possible. I don't know exactly why this was one of my top goals, but it was one of my driving motivations. As I look back on that I laugh because being away from home has made me want to return more than ever.

This past week my family welcomed in a new baby boy named Silas. He is the first child of my brother Matthew, the brother we never thought would grow up. It pained me to have to sit by my phone waiting for the tearful phone call telling me that I had a beautiful new nephew. I wanted to be there with my family to celebrate the joy of welcoming in a new life. The next day I then received another phone call telling me that Silas was not doing as well as we had hoped. He was in the NICU for almost a week before he was allowed to go home. We still don't know if there will be any repercussions from his traumatic birth. We are all still praying.

So how am I going to turn this into something uplifting? Well, I've learned something about myself and about my family and about my community during this last week. I have been aching all week to be home, to be with my family during this time. I have learned to appreciate them more than I ever could have if I had stayed close to home. Cell phones and e-mail are wonderful things! Through these wonderful technological creations we have been able to stay in touch. I feel like I'm still a contributing member of my family even though I'm almost 600 miles away. That is a miracle within itself.

I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, and the power of a faith community. I attend a church here in Lexington that has become a home away from home for me. As soon as I found out about Silas' condition I placed in a prayer request at Crestwood, and my mother placed one at our home church, Christian Temple. I don't think that God answers prayers with miraculous acts, but I do believe God hears our prayers and provides comfort in some way that we may not understand. Knowing that so many people we praying with me and my family for this little baby boy provided me with such comfort. I was able to take myself and my own feelings out of the situation and focus on Silas and what my family needed me to do.

God works in mysterious ways and presents us with opportunities that we can learn from. I came to Transy to be independent from my family and learn to stand by myself. I've learned this week that it is impossible for me to be completely independent. My family is an integral part of who I am and what I do. It is still good for me to be in Lexington, I'm learning how to take care of myself and to rely on my friends that surround me, but I will forever remain grounded in my family and the humble values they continue to teach me each day.