What's in a name? Everything.

"Hello, my name is Jean Ellen. No, not just Jean. Jean Ellen. I go by my first and middle name."

I have become accustomed to this introduction over the past nineteen years. Every time I meet someone new, no matter how clearly I may try to pronounce each syllable, I must restate and explain the unique pair of names my parents selected. I do not know why they did not feel Jean would be sufficient for everyday address. Whatever their reasoning, they made a decision I cannot (I now realize) alter.

This past summer, however, as I prepared to leave for college, I thought I would leave my double name with the CDs I no longer listen to and the clothes that no longer fit. The name would not suit me at an Ivy in the North, I decided. Not only would I have to explain it to every new person I met, it would seem unsophisticated; wouldn't I have enough difficulty with bias, coming from Kentucky?

I reconsidered this decision soon after my family tried to address me by only one name. It sounded cold and foreign. I realized, by moving to frosty New Hampshire, I would already be traveling to a place full of cold and foreign unknowns. I would need the familiarity and warmth I will always feel when I hear someone say the unique name I recognize as my own.

You may wonder how this seemingly trivial decision relates to my journey in faith. In embracing my quirky double name, I embrace the identity I brought with me to Dartmouth. I realize now that I did not leave home to abandon myself and discard my values. I came to college to share myself and my faith with others, and to mature from these interactions.

Last Sunday, at the UCC church I attend on campus, a lady came up to me after the service to tell me I reminded her so much of her granddaughter. After telling her my name and where I was from, she responded, "Jean Ellen, what a small world! I have a son in Lexington. I suppose this winter is quite a change for you. Is Hanover too cold yet?" I smiled and shook my head.

The temperature is quite frigid and college is, as the lady in church stated it, quite a change. But I have my faith, my heritage and the people I meet to warm me as I continue to grow into my identity throughout my college experience.

Jean Ellen Cowgill is in her first year as a HELM Leadership Fellow and is a member of Central Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) and Crestwood Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in Lexington, Kentucky.